52 Things an Interior Designer Would Never Say :: Building Moxie

You know how sometimes you just know something. You don?t need to take a survey because you just know it. Like, you know deep in your heart that Justin Bieber has the d******** hair you?ve ever seen. You don?t need to take a survey, you just know. Like I know that there are 52 Things an Interior Designer would never say.

Or at least they shouldn?t. ;~)

1. ?I just love that sponge painted wall. It?s so 80s and I just adore it!?
2. ?You got your sofa at Wal-Mart? Me too.?
3. ?That howling mountain wolf framed poster is to die for. Where?d you get it??
4. ?Plastic covers on your living room furniture is totally cool with me.?
5. ?I agree. That faux plant looks natural. Dust and all!?
6. ?No, the 87 cows on your mantel look fabulous.?
7. ?That purple toilet seat cover can stay. I?ll design around it.?
8. ?Those oversize utensils on your dining room wall really bring the place to life.?
9. ?I love 80s oak paneling.?
10. ?Oh, you found this crunchy dresser for free on Craigslist? Nope, never would have guessed that.?
11. ?Why yes. I love creating crafts I see on Pinterest, too. My time is way unlimited.?
12. ?You?re right. My fee is too high. That designer at the furniture store will work out much better for you.?
13. ?Blue carpet never goes out of style.?
14. ?Cardboard life-size stand-ups of celebrities are something I include in every design. Who do you want? Guy Fieri or one of those Kardashians??
15. ?Gee. I wish I could find a project I could specify this hunter green carpet on.?
16. ?Yep. The Lakers gold and yellow colors would be the perfect starting place for your bedroom.?
17. ?Red sofas work with any d?cor.?
18. ?Those maps from AAA you framed really do look like the ones you could buy from Restoration Hardware.?
19. ?Yes! Sheets and aluminum foil look wonderful on windows.?
20. ?I love me a great country wallpaper border.?
21. ?Yes, I can do a Liberace inspired room for you.?
22. ?Navajo prints are my favorite.?
23. ?You love Southwest style, too??
24. ?That pyramid tower of toilet paper on the back of your toilet shows your design genius.?
25. ?I think that deer head above your bed is the right romantic touch.?
26. ?Oh, so you picked your paint colors from a crayon box? Love it.?
27. ?That freaky naked people statue doesn?t say you?re a serial-killer-in-training at all.?
28. ?Those peel and stick floor tiles should stay.?
29. ?I tie all my curtains in knots.?
30. ?You should shove all of your furniture against the walls.?
31. ?I hope you?re planning on keeping that nipple light.?
32. ?Those book pages you pasted all over your wall from that Pinterest craft tutorial is so timeless and practical.?
33. ?Cultured marble looks like the real thing.?
34. ?Love that ?Barney? purple accent wall you painted. You go girl.?
35. ?A shoe rack in your dining room? Yeah, that?s normal.?
36. ?No, you go ahead and keep all the papers and pictures on your fridge.?
37. ?Have I ever seen ?Trading Spaces?? Yes, and $1000 is just the number I was thinking would work for your room, too.?
38. ?I love how you carried out your ?Sopranos? motif.?
39. ?Motel 6? Yes, I make sure to buy bedspreads from their distributor, too.?
40. ?I love clutter.?
41. ?That baby poo color on the wall is divine.?
42. ?I love your life size doll collection.?
43. ?Yes, I think 84? is the right height for your 12? square picture.?
44. ?That faux brick peeking out of your walls really does say, ?classy?.?
45. ?A side table is a perfect alternative to a dining table.?
46. ?I love that you let your children write on the wall.?
47. ?Ten pillows is the minimum number you should have on your loveseat.?
48. ?White washed oak is all the rage.?
49. ?That mural of a snow scape makes me feel just like I?m there.?
50. ?No cabinet doors on your kitchen cupboards? Yes, that plastic dinnerware really shines.?
51. ?I think a Taco Bell bathroom is a legitimate design inspiration to draw from.?
52. ?One drapery panel for your large window should do it.?

Disclaimer: Designers are prone to changing their mind at any time and are known to contradict some of these rules. However? if you ever catch one who thinks rule #51 is ever appropriate. Run! Run for your life, Forest!

And because I?m one of those cool designers you can come back over to my place and pick up some freebies if you want. Or maybe you?re in desperate need of some design help now? Then please be my guest and see what design elixirs, fresh brewed potions and cocktails I have to offer you, my love.

Source: http://www.buildingmoxie.com/2012/08/52-things-an-interior-designer-would-never-say-alycia-wicker/

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